Even if someone accidentally cheats us, we might leave them on purpose. After all, the act of infidelity is a choice and not a mistake. Apologies might generally mean nothing to a broken heart. A survey conducted in 2002 states that infidelity and paychecks go hand in hand to a great extent. Interestingly, better educated and wealthier guys are more likely to stray and cheat on their partners.
Just in case you have checked into this article on a good Wednesday, here’s something that might catch your eyeballs. A recent finding confirms that somehow Wednesday ends up being the most popular day for cheating. Wait, you want to know the popular timings as well? It’s Wednesday; around 5 to 7 p.m. Oops…Is it that time of the day at your place? You better dial the digits of the man or women in your life because sleeping alone is said to be a waste of sexual talent. Just kidding!
Let’s Cut to the Chase!
If you have lightened up a bit, let’s get to some tried and tested findings on how to recover from infidelity. After all, getting over being cheated on can be a nightmare on its own. The faint of hearts can crumble, and even the hardcore among us can feel weak at best. Cheating is a sure-fire way to ruin a relationship, and someone just did that. That being said, partying ways may not always be the answer to infidelity. Hundreds and thousands of couples have successfully survived an affair. Remember, Hillary Clinton stayed on when her life partner deceived her. With her unbending devotion, she actually played the role of a firefighter.
Believe it or not, loads of women out there have not only lived through infidelity, but have also learned how to heal, grow and thrive in ways that they had never ever imagined. Sources indicate that it takes an average couple nearly two years to recover from an affair. So, let’s learn how to recover from infidelity with some rapid approaches so that you can bypass several months or years of pain and grief.
How to Recover from Infidelity?
When the curtains are removed, and the affair is out there in the open, it’s bound to evoke a great deal of stress in both the partners for several days or weeks. For a relationship renewal, a couple must willingly agree to work on their relationship. If one of the partners disagrees, then there will be no moving forward. Therefore, the first step is to figure out whether you are moving towards each other or not. So, there is no escaping from the tough heart to heart conversation that might eventually decide the next course of action for both of you. The betrayed person will obviously have the final call on this matter. It’s important to take the time and efforts to understand the true villain behind the affair before coming up with any decision.
One must evaluate the relationship problems beyond the one-time affair. That being said, the farewell has to be final if one chooses not to pursue the relationship. For couples who are willing to hang on to the last bit of hope can work together to repair the old wounds, and perhaps mend it so well that the undesirable flashback only remains a forgetful event of the past.
Affair Recovery Journey
From a deceiver’s standpoint, it’s important to go beyond the usual “sorry” which will only fall on deaf ears at this point. Former cheaters will actually vouch for this thing. It might feel humiliating to write a handwritten letter, but that’s one of the best ways to express sincerity. Believe it or not, journaling would prove to be the best outlet over here to get things off one’s chest and to best express everything to a betrayed person.
Also, it’s important to be an active listener and use empathy to help the hurt partner express his/her fears, frustrations, upsetting feelings and unresolved issues. Goes without saying, the betrayed person also has the right to seek the truth from the deceiver. The unfaithful one should provide a factual account of everything to ensure that there is utmost clarity moving forward. This is an extremely important step to cement the wall of a huge mistrust. The truth might be more hurtful, but hiding them can cause all the more damage.
Also, do know that if there are fill-in-the-blanks spots left during the conversation, the betrayed partner might fill it with worst case scenarios, which will only retard any chances of relationship renewal. Only once clarity is obtained, both can better understand their roles in creating a new relationship. It’s also important to examine each other’s hopes, beliefs, and expectations from there on. Statistically speaking, most affairs happen at work.
So, one might also want to agree to have their email accounts, social networking accounts, phone logs, and bank statements easily accessible to the hurt partner to get rid of all the emotional triggers that could have potentially lead to an affair in the past. This will definitely put the hurt person at ease. Keep in mind that the betrayed person may still showcase signs of mourning after a mutual agreement has been reached to work on the relationship.
The next step would be cooperating with each other in doing their part to make the relationship work. After all, only cooperate efforts can lead to a viable solution. Joining forces is the only way to reduce the ongoing stress, and to find some sort of safety from the ongoing turmoil. With cooperation, trust be can built, and one can gradually experience deeper connection. Lessons from the past can be used to gain insight and to build a more intimate bond. It’s best advised to keep friends and family members away from intervening in this matter to avoid contradictory information. Since none of them could be an expert over here, they might unintentionally end up adding fuel to fire. Well, it’s great to have them for emotional support but not for an expert view.
It’s highly recommended to see a therapist for best advice on this sensitive subject and for the sake of neutrality and privacy. During an expert visit, it’s expected to be specific on what will be tolerated and what won’t be tolerated in the coming life. Therapy may not necessarily save a marriage but it can help the hurt person best forgive the betrayer, and things could take off from there. Regaining trust can take time so do not be surprised by the slow process. As long as things are heading in the right direction, you can mostly be assured of the best outcome.
Your Personal Transformation
Getting over being cheated on would be impossible without forgiving and some amount of forgetting. Don’t let the wounded ego get the better of the situation. Remember, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Learn from the lessons of the past, whether you like it or not. Every painful experience teaches us something. So, it’s up to us what we learn from the remorseful affair. We can either be bitter or better from it. Passage of time will heal every wound. Not to forget the fact that the bumpy ride of forgiveness can make way for a new chapter in your life.
Deliberate efforts to better yourself and to support your partner can surprisingly create an unbreakable bond between the two of you. Something that you might have never ever imagined when you were first presented with the harsh reality of infidelity. As they say, “You can never predict the end of the story by its beginning.”